No, to your surprise, this is actually not baby Marlon Brando. This is baby Mackenzie. Even though I do end up talking like him for half my life because of my unhealthy obsession with The Godfather at a very young age and my many Italian speaking family members.
This is the ugliest picture I’ve seen of a baby. I thought baby’s were supposed to be cute? I’ve been putting stereotypes away since the womb.
Why did my parents take a photo of this? Did I just taste some sour milk? Why do I look like 47 year old Marlon Brando from The Godfather as an infant? Is this a grown man or a toddler? I need answers. I look like the head of a very important Italian family. The Don. Vito Corleone. I’m supposed to look innocent and pure but it just looks like I’m about to make him an offer he can’t refuse.